Fighting against the BLOODY taboo

Every month, my father, who never got into kitchen except to eat used to prepare food for us-- REGULARLY, for four days. As a kid, I never inquired why my mom was restrained to enter the kitchen. Then slowly, I learnt that she was considered impure for those four days and baba was prohibited to eat the delicacies prepared by her. 
At that time, given my tender age, I never bothered about it until the time I misheard the conversation of my cousins about menstruation. I was horrified to learn that women actually bled during their menses. Though I could not understand what my cousins uttered further, but I was really curious if my mother also bled for those four days. With a bit of amazement, she gave me a positive wink but I was scared to know that I would also bleed after some years and every single woman in this earth went through this process.

The second time menstruation made an impression on me was when my elder cousin was brought to my house and was left in an unused dark room during the celebration of Dashain (which is the greatest festival of Hindu in Nepal). I remember asking my mom the reason behind her aloofness during the festive season and momma had replied that it was a tradition practiced when a girl had her  menarche. I used to go and talk to her but was strictly told to shut the doors and windows even during the daylight. Back then as a kid I followed what I was ordered. After around 11 days or so, she was taken out of the room and she resumed her own chores.

The other time menstruation really got me into deep thought was when some of my male class-mates  teased one of my friend (and may be that was for me as well!) referring to some blood stained skirt. My friend was ashamed and got away from them because she knew exactly what those boys meant (she already had her periods), while, me, as always, had no clue that the boys were pulling my legs too.

Till I was in 8^th grade, most of the girls from my class already had their periods and said what a nightmare it was to go through those days. Speaking the truth, I wanted to bear that pain too and be one among them but to my dismay, I had to wait a bit longer to experience that.

3 years after my first acquaintance with menstruation, I had my share of bleeding. I told mom about my red-stained undergarment incident and with her teary eyes she said, “My daughter is a grown-up now”. I didn't experience it as bizarre as that described by my friends until the late evening I had to rush with my bags packed to my uncle’s place. I was told to stay in a store with shut doors and windows. I was instructed to get up early in the morning when everyone else were asleep, wash my body and return to the same room. I got my lunch and dinner in the room itself and my mommy, my sister and aunt used to come to say HI!. The first two days were merry but after that, the dark room started to haunt me and I was bored. I wanted to escape from those four walls but I was instructed that if I saw the sunlight the sun-rays would curse me and if any men saw me that would be a curse for them. I started missing my home, my friends and the outer world in that dark room but I had to follow what I was ordered to do.

After 11 days, when I got out of the room, I was welcomed with a new dress and bangles and had to worship Sun until which I was happy. But then, it was really awkward to face my dad, because, there in my mind was embarked during those 11 days, that he was a man and I was a grown up girl now. 
The actual nightmare was to go to school because I knew everyone in my class had a clue about my short vacation in the store room . Gossips spread round the class that I had my menarche though I tried to hide it from them, but I could not lie for long and there were boys giving me their cunning smile.

Until then, the only information I had about menstruation was that I had to bleed on a monthly basis. I followed what my mother taught me and may be my mother taught me what her mother taught her. I never questioned any custom and readily accepted my body as an impure one during those days because I was unaware of its physiology.

As time passed, I came to know about puberty and growing up. I later knew that like every single girl, my body was a gift to continue the generations in earth and menstruation was a part of this. I learnt whatever tradition we were practicing was just a taboo, a burden and a chain for humankind or especially for us- FEMALES, LADIES, WOMEN and GIRLS.

15 years ago from now, I was far behind from technology and knowledge so I accepted what was known as custom and tradition, and was accustomed to it or had to follow it forcibly. Now I know the physiology behind the monthly bleeding phenomenon. I revolt against it now. I speak against the taboo now. But, I also know that the tradition that has been practiced since ages cannot be uprooted at once; it takes time to liberate our culture from such taboos that had once been habit. 

Strictures for entering kitchen and temples; restriction in touching men, plants, water sources, livestock; prohibition on attending social ceremonies are some of the traditional taboos. These restrictions become more vulnerable and life-threatening when menstruating women are forbidden to enter even their own house and should remain in dreadful unsanitary sheds or outbuildings and this continues until they attain the status of being pure. We can imagine the unsafe situation that results from this banishment in physical and mental well-being of a girl and women.

Taboos.. Taboos.. Taboos!!!

Besides all of the above, the topic menstruation cannot be discussed in public. I remember watching television with my parents and whenever advertisement for sanitary pads appeared on TV, either there would be channel switched or there would be a moment of silence in room and change in topic whenever I used to question about the applicability of that product. Breaking the Silence and Starting the conversation is really needed to fight against this taboo. Everyone should understand there is nothing to be ashamed about menstruation. I still am unable to understand why the shopkeepers wrap the packet of sanitary pad with a newspaper whenever I go to buy one. I always wonder the need of hiding the sanitary pad inside the newspaper when everyone knows menstruation is a normal and natural phenomenon.

Including men in this movement is another inevitable factor in breaking the taboo. Unless men participate and come along with us in it, fighting against it is nearly impossible. Once I asked one of my male friend to help me to bring a sanitary pad, he hesitated but after I explained the pain I was going through he brought me one but the sad part is he rode nearly half kilometer away from his place so no one of his social contact would recognize him (Duh-ah!). Now it’s the need to understand that menstruation is not something to be ashamed of. In fact, we must openly discuss about it to have a healthy life around us.

Not only men, but women and girls should themselves be aware about not being ashamed of it and be able to talk about it openly. I had a younger cousin who cried her heart out during her menarche. Though we laugh out loud about it now, but she had no idea of what she was going through prior to it. If only she had any idea that she was going through the beautiful change, she wouldn't have definitely cried about it.

Menstruation should be welcomed as a customary change in girls’ life. The myth bubbling around  menstruation gives an unwanted pressure for girls during the transition phase to womanhood. Only when it is openly accepted by society; girls and women will feel safe and maintaining hygiene during this phase will be possible and easy.

On May 28^th, when the world will be celebrating the first Menstrual Hygiene day, the taboo that comes along menstruation should also be addressed. Until the blood-y taboos are brought to attention, menstrual hygiene is hard to deal with. Remaining silent is not the solution to this problem. We should raise our voice against the taboo and make people understand that women are sacred and menstruation does not make them impure.